Written by Melody Karick, ForgeWorks Dementia Educator and Consultant
We’ve all laughed at movies or sitcoms where communication challenges have created an embarrassing or sticky situation for one or more characters. We all probably have a personal story to recount where we’ve gotten wires crossed or details mixed up and things didn’t quite turn out the way we wanted them to.
Caring for a loved one on a dementia journey with decreased communication skills means that communication can be an incredible challenge. And some days, the stories aren’t funny. They are frustrating. For everyone.
I hope to encourage you on your journey with education on how the brain is changing, as well as tips to help you communicate better.
Nearly all types of dementia affect the way the frontal lobe works, which is the part of the brain that helps with word finding, speech sounds, problem solving, emotions, planning and behavioral control. In addition, Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body Dementia affect the parietal lobe, the part of the brain that processes sensory information, word analysis, and sound/symbol connection.
Alzheimer’s and frontotemporal dementia affect the temporal lobe, which is where the brain processes word understanding, word analysis, sound/symbol connection, letter/word recognition and emotion. Lastly, the occipital lobe processes vision and letter/word recognition. In short, living with brain change and dementia affects communication — the words people choose and understand.
Vision changes also affect the way people interact and communicate. People living with brain change often experience a narrowing of their peripheral vision, which means their ability to see the world around them changes.
Thankfully, there are ways to help our loved ones communicate, even if they are experiencing brain change.
Verbal communication includes three parts: words, tone, and body language. As a care partner, maintain active listening. When you practice active listening, you focus entirely on the speaker; you pick up nonverbal clues through body language and tone, which can help you understand unspoken needs and feelings.
Respond with empathy and compassion, regardless of how and what is being communicated. Empathy enables care partners to perceive and validate the emotions of those they care for, transforming interactions into meaningful connections and improving outcomes. Compassion, on the other hand, involves validating your loved one’s feelings, providing reassurance, and fostering a supportive environment that enhances their emotional well-being.
Be patient. Patience helps care partners respond to the unique challenges posed by dementia and brain changes, enabling more effective communication and interaction. When we take our time to communicate and insert laughter and joy, it eases tensions and creates a better outcome for all involved.
When talking, use less words. Using simple, clear messages when talking with someone with dementia allows for easier processing, better emotional connection and a sense of dignity for the listener. When giving instructions, give one step at a time to help your loved one avoid feeling overwhelmed. Allow time for them to process what you are saying and respond before rushing on to the next part of your conversation.
Changing vision also affects how people communicate. The way you approach someone living with brain change matters. Before approaching, take a moment to consider your intent for communication. Are you sitting down for a conversation? Are you engaging them so they can help you with a task or their own personal care?
As you approach, keep their line of vision in mind and be aware of the declining periphery. Approach from the front but maintain a supportive stance and smile. When you get close, turn your body slightly so they can see past you, and you don’t fill their full field of vision. If the person you are interacting with appreciates physical connection, slowly extend your hand to theirs. If they are seated, crouch down to meet their eye level or below. While you want to be close enough to communicate, maintain an appropriate distance; don’t lean in or crowd their personal space. Make a personal connection before starting a conversation or asking them to help you complete a task.
While these tips do not guarantee perfect interactions every time, they can set you up for successful communication. Extend grace to yourself and your loved one as you take this journey together.
Melody Karick, dementia educator and consultant for ForgeWorks, was a care partner for her parents before serving as the director of memory support at Garden Spot Village. She helps businesses, churches, municipalities, first responders and families serve people living with dementia.
Melody’s certifications include Certified Dementia Practitioner, Certified Montessori Dementia Care Practitioner, Personal Care Health Administrator, Virtual Dementia Tour Certified Trainer and Positive Approach to Care. In addition, Melody leads Dementia Friendly Lancaster, a group of devoted community members, organizations and faith-based leaders as well as those who have been touched by dementia.